#WeRunTogether - the 2021 London Marathon and why I ran it
Some of you know that I ran the London Marathon this weekend! I’ve had so many lovely messages of support in the run up, on the day and afterwards that I feel a bit overwhelmed, and very humbled by it all. So, I thought I’d give you a quick run down of it by way of a ‘thank you’.
I have run the London Marathon before, 10 years ago, but have not really run since then, so this has definitely been a journey getting my running fitness up to the level it needed to be. (And honestly, I didn’t really manage it, but I got around, and that was all I was aiming for – I wasn’t interested in hitting a time.) So I had a 16 week plan of 3 runs a week – one with sprints/hills, one mid-tempo and distance and one long one at the weekend which built up gradually to 20 miles. I didn’t quite get to the 20, but close enough ;) !
I ran to raise money for Mermaids, a charity that supports gender-diverse and transgender kids and their families. They are a charity close to my own heart, because as many of you also know, my oldest son Leo is transgender. You can read my blog about that here. Leo turned 18 last month and came out to us at 11, so we’ve had a long time to adapt, learn and grow together as he’s become his authentic self. When he first came out, transgender issues were still very new in the press and there was very little coverage about it. Now it seems the coverage doesn’t stop – but so much of it is negative and I know it makes it very hard to bear for trans kids and parents I know. When Leo and I took part in a documentary on Sky, we had no control over the fact the documentary also covered someone who had transitioned and then changed their mind. We were not told this would be included and I was variously called a child abuser, an attention seeker, an unfit mother and accused of harming Leo because I was suffering from Munchausen's by proxy. Leo was told he was confused, would grow out of it, was suffering from having no father (in one case, to ‘knock some sense into us both') and most of all that he was just wrong. That he wasn’t a boy, just a girl pretending to be one. Leo’s Dad and I have been married for 20 years this year. Leo isn’t a boy pretending to be a girl. He once told me ‘Mum, if this was a choice, do you think I’d be putting us all through it?’ I think that says it all really. When people ask me how did I cope or ‘allow’ Leo to 'choose to be a boy' I ask them a question that he asks others to explain: 'Are you gay, or straight (or bi)… did you *choose* to be that way? Or did you *know*’?'. I’m pretty sure most of you can answer that question without thinking too hard. He said he didn’t ‘choose’ to be a boy – he simply ‘is’ one. And now he’s a man and I could not be prouder of him. He fills my heart with joy.
But so many trans kids and families are having to face hatred and vitriol every day - on line and in person. Many don’t have the understanding of their family and friends, the support of their schools or their GP - and we were lucky to have all of those. Some kids are disowned by members of their family or rejected. It’s no surprise to me that trans kids are so bullied and that so many of them become suicidal.
So yes, running 26.2 miles was bloody hard. I think you can see from the look on my face at the end how hard it was. But it’s not as hard as being a trans kid or parent that feels alone, confused, sad, and hurting. Mermaids is a genuine lifesaver and I’m proud to have been one of only 3 runners for them this year. I’m a little over £500 short of my fundraising target for them. Between myself and the other runners we’d have enough to pay for a residential course for trans kids and their families to help them get together with others just like them, and be able to talk about the difficulties they face and how to overcome them. If you can spare a few quid to help me get to that target, I’d be so grateful. To everyone who has already sponsored me, come along with me on the day or sent messages of encouragement – thank you so much. You made all the pain and the tears on Sunday worth it!