The best Bruce Lee quote ever...

Is definitely: ‘If you love life, then don’t waste time, because time is what life is made of’. (Thank you, Jon Stephenson, who introduced me to this quote.)

Are you planning for 2018? I firmly believe that things may well happen for a reason...but also that we can help make them happen by planning for them.

Busy-ness seems to rule our lives these days. We all complain about being too busy. We boast about the hours we work, our back to back meetings, our to-do lists, eating at our desks…if we even have time! I know I can be as guilty of this as anyone. These days our lives are supposed to be easier, less labour intensive and more organised than ever before. Anything you want is literally at the touch of a button or can be found the other side of a screen. We live with our devices attached to our hands. But how often do we look up from them? And what happens when we do?

Here's a question - how happy are you? Honestly. What are the things in your life that make you happy – do you even know any more? If you do...then how often do you make time to do them?

In 2018, perhaps consider not setting resolutions. How about planning to be happier instead? Purposefully, planning to do more of the things you love; that bring you joy and that help you achieve things that really matter to you. To do this well, first you need to understand what is really driving you. The best man to help with this if you get a chance to see him speak is David Hyner – I met him at an event organised by Adam Harris a couple of years ago. Finding out my purpose was an intense, emotional experience! I’m not ashamed to say I stood in front of the whole group in tears while we went through the process (and had some wonderful support while doing it). Of course, you could always ‘Start with Why’ by Simon Sinek, too – a classic.

Recently, I had a really lovely day out in London with my eldest son, Leo. We met his cousin and went for lunch at a upmarket vegan restaurant. We went shopping in super cool Shoreditch. We met a photographer friend and played pool in a fancy bar, then ate dinner on Oxford street. For 14-year-old Leo this was a day of adventure and firsts. For me it was just great to spend time with him just enjoying being together with no pressure to be anywhere at any special time. It made me think about what really makes me happy. And I made a list! Seems a ridiculous thing to do, but I’m a big believer that if you want something to happen – then you have to purposefully plan it. That lottery win might come along some day, or I might bump into someone by accident who changes my life, but I think it’s best not to rely on blind hope as an option.

So what makes me happy? Well there are a few key things:

Spending time with people I love - my family, my friends, people I’d like to get to know better! Colleagues, acquaintances. The more you talk to people the more you find out about them. The more you find out about them, the more amazing people are. Every time I talk to people, really talk to them, I find out a bit more. But we spend so little time actually just talking. We can be with people but often we’re not properly present - we’ve got half an eye on our phone, or on the room. My best friend and I have decided that this year we’re going to plan a series of adventures…we’ve planned our first one in Dublin already! I’m excited about taking the time out with her and doing some fun, random and probably slightly off the wall stuff – and making time in my life to do it.

Being outside – mountains and the sea have a great way of putting you in your place. Looking at the sky at night. Trees. The other day I was in a right old grump. So I took myself out for a walk in the cold. It was bright and sunny. I listened to music, bought myself a coffee and deliberately walked through a huge neat pile of leaves and kicked them all over the place. Thirty minutes later I felt so much better – refreshed, happier, calmer, less stressed.

Getting physical – yes, of course that (!). But actually how about just holding hands? How about hugs? Just a hand on your arm or shoulder can let you know that someone is there for you in a different way – that there’s kindness, empathy. Everyone should kiss more! Let’s all stop being so bloody British about it! But also, what about the satisfying exhaustion of a great workout? The sort of nice hurty ache the next day. The heady rush of running around with your kids or just mucking about with them. The thrill of lifting a weight you didn’t used to be able to, or doing proper press ups or discovering you can do a bound Trikonasana (I really can you know…I practically cheered in my yoga class!). Physical challenges are rewarding in so many ways – they test your mental strength and endurance as well as your physical strength and teach you things about yourself that you don’t find out in any other ways even if it’s bloody hard work finding out!

Doing stuff for my brain. Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows I’m a voracious reader. I read every day and always have a book on the go. I read two or three a week. But it’s pure escapism. It’s my way of turning my brain off and relaxing. I listen to Ted Talks. I do headspace. I love learning new stuff. I’ve studied full time and part time as an adult and I’m sure I’ll do it again soon. I love going to the theatre - it makes me feel cleverer!

I’m also old enough (big enough and ugly enough as my Dad used to put it) to know that there’s only one person on this planet responsible for my happiness – and that’s me. So often, just like everyone else, I let time, circumstances, or relying on someone else determine how happy I am. Every now and again I realise I’m a grown up and like it or not, it’s down to me to change how I feel about something. To stop something that’s not working, or decide to start something else that could. There’s only two days a week you can’t make a difference to your life – yesterday and tomorrow. We really do have to live for today. Because what if it is all we have? I can’t wait until next week to be happy, or next month, or next year when ‘this’ will be different, or better. I have to choose these things now, and every day. We all do….otherwise we’re wasting not just our time, but our lives.

In the words of the iconic 70s, kids TV show...’Why don’t you…just switch off your television set and go out and do something less boring instead’. Today this might be ‘put down your mobile phone’, but I think you get the point. 😉